The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
Himself
Himself
The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!
2008-11-20
8
As the 100th anniversary of Titanic's sinking approaches, a team of scientists, engineers, archaeologists and imaging experts have joined forces to answer one of the most haunting questions surrounding the legendary disaster: Just how did the "unsinkable" ship break apart and plunge into the icy waters of the North Atlantic? Written by History Channel
Winner of 7 Tony Awards, including Best Musical, The Wiz was a massive Broadway hit which spawned a dismal feature film starring Diana Ross and Michael Jackson. Executive Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have assembled a Tony-winning creative team, the imaginative Cirque du Soleil Theatrical and a diverse cast of showstoppers designed to create an eye-popping new take on the musical unlike anything ever seen.
As a result of a successful conspiracy against Menshikov, Peter II is prematurely recognized as an adult and is in a hurry to be crowned in Moscow. The Dolgoruky brothers gather for this celebration. There were eight of them - all-powerful and influential representatives of the ancient Rurikovich family - and among them the beautiful Ekaterina, the daughter of the huntsman Alexei.
Fast train N34 went exactly on schedule. The passengers were quietly getting ready for bed when the empty compartment from the outstanding cigarette lit up the curtain. Soon the wagon caught fire. Disaster is imminent. Railwaymen and passengers are working together to prevent misfortune and save hundreds of people…
After the May Revolution, Juan José Castelli has instructions to order the execution of ex-viceroy Santiago de Liniers. That put you at a crossroads with respect to your convictions.
An analysis of the social upheaval of May 1968, made in the immediate wake of the workers’ and students’ protests. The picture consists of two parts, each with with identical image tracks, and differing narration.
A beautiful blonde joins a small group of men running an oil station in the Sahara Desert and starts the emotions soaring.
Explores Tolkien's classic fantasy/adventure novel The Hobbit and examines the story behind its conception.
In hustle and bustle of urban life, we sometimes don't know our neighbors next door. And in the village, everyone knows each other and lives with the joys, troubles, and worries of a neighbor, like one big family. That's why a person is pulled to their small homeland, to their roots. The one who forgets their roots experiences a burdensome emptiness and dissatisfaction with their achievements in life.
Shinzo Egi is an asthma sufferer who does not want to be place on life support. As a last request, Shinzo Egi asks his doctor Ayano Orii if she could follow his wish. Doctor Ayano Orii is then questioned in a criminal case because of her decision.
A young man happens upon a strange, isolated village which is oppressively ruled by foreign soldiers. When he tries to inquire into what is going on, he is forced to flee to an island where a renegade medical doctor tries to force him into submission.
After a breakup with her girlfriend, a young woman tries to forget the memories of their past- however her emotions haunt her.
A beloved writer-turned-CEO of her own Goop-like lifestyle brand, Prism, must secure a partnership with Singled Out to save her company, but the only way to appease them is for her to write a column on falling in love by Christmas with the help of the charming and handsome photographer who has been assigned to the piece.
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.
Isidor's Tortilla Heaven is the best restaurant in New Mexico maybe even the world. But though his tortillas are scrumptious, his enchiladas divine, Isidor has never made a dime. Why? He lives in Falfurrias, population 73. One Sunday, while all the town, including his wife and son, are piously praying mass, a miracle occurs. Upon one of his famous, hand-made tortillas appears the face of Jesus Christ.
The school year is finally ending, and T.J. Detweiler is looking forward to summer. But boredom quickly sets in when his friends leave for camp — until T.J. uncovers an evil plot to do away with summer vacation! A crazy former principal, Dr. Benedict, is planning to use a laser beam to alter the weather and create permanent winter. Faced with the dire threat of year-round school, T.J. rounds up the RECESS gang and bands together with some unexpected allies — Miss Finster and Principal Prickly — in a nonstop adventure to save everyone's summer break. As the kids discover the heroes inside themselves, a platoon of wacky characters, far-out music, and sci-fi surprises turn this madcap mission into a major victory for fun!
An Episcopal Bishop, Henry Brougham, has been working for months on the plans for an elaborate new cathedral which he hopes will be paid for primarily by a wealthy, stubborn widow. He is losing sight of his family and of why he became a churchman in the first place. Enter Dudley, an angel sent to help him. Dudley does help everyone he meets, but not necessarily in the way they would have preferred. With the exception of Henry, everyone loves him, but Henry begins to believe that Dudley is there to replace him, both at work and in his family's affections, as Christmas approaches.
Herb and Rex, the Jurassic odd couple, guide you along a Christmas choral celebration in this Emmy Award-winning special, guest-starring the California Raisins! Segments feature the Three Wise Men, singing camels, ice-skating penguins, and the hilarious Paris Bellharmonic Orchestra.
After the Club Med and skiing, what happened to the Bronzés 27 years later? Early response: the same, and worse.
When a huge snowstorm leaves everyone stranded, Mickey and all of his guests at the House of Mouse, including Pooh, Belle, Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel and many more of his old and new friends, break out the cookies and hot chocolate to help Donald mend his tattered Christmas spirit.
Lovable goon Munna falls for a morning radio host by the name of Jahnvi, who also runs an elders' home which an unscrupulous builder seeks to attain. In order to gain Jahnvi’s attention, he cheats his way to winning a Mahatma Gandhi radio quiz. When Jahnvi consequently expresses interest in Munna, he and his best friend Circuit attempt to keep up the facade.
Maher addresses contemporary political, social and cultural topics -- Iraq, President Bush and the so called Axis of Evil. The opinionated Maher said about Victory Begins at Home: "We've heard everything about the War on Terrorism except what we can actually do to help win it. The government used to do that for us through propaganda (the positive kind) posters, so taking my cue from the great old posters of World War I and World War II ('Loose Lips Sink Ships,' 'Buy War Bonds,' 'Plant a Victory Garden,' etc.) I commissioned artists to paint the posters our government today should be putting out to help us win this war."
An 11-year-old boy's amazing ability to break wind leads him first to fame and then to death row, before it helps him to fulfill his ambition of becoming an astronaut.
It's the end of the school year. The long-awaited moment of the holidays is arrive. The little Nicolas, her parents and Grandma take the road towards the sea, and settle in for some time at the Hotel Beau-Rivage.
Stig-Helmer takes another vacation with his norwegian friend Ole. This time it's time for a skiing vacation in the Alps. Of course, Stig-Helmer has never learnt downhill skiing, but he attends a ski school. And together they manage to charm two women also on vacation.
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
Dr. Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.
Professors Vrooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the story ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
Rocky and Bullwinkle have been living off the finances made from the reruns of their cartoon show. Boris and Natasha somehow manage to crossover into reality and team up with Fearless Leader, an evil criminal turned media mogul with some evil plans up his sleeve. Rocky and Bullwinkle must stop the three of them before they wreak havoc.
When famous detective Nick Carter visits Prague, he becomes involved in strange case of a missing dog and even stranger carnivorous plant. He becomes convinced that he is standing against his greatest enemy, the Gardener, who supposedly died years ago in a swamp...
A divorcee has a passionate affair with a much younger surfing instructor in Hawaii.
Comedian Dave Chappelle does what he does best in this outrageous and hilarious standup performance, which allows him to push the envelope far beyond what he does on his TV show. Taped in San Francisco at the famed Fillmore, Chappelle lets loose on such topics as black celebrities, what it's like to have raunchy fans of his TV show approach him while he's trying to enjoy Disneyland with his kids, Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant... and crackheads, of course. It's comedy Chappelle-style and, for what it's worth, no one is safe from his barbs. But you already knew that!