Onion News Empire

Infoholic(uk)

Maksim, an investing manager, is too busy reading the news in his social network feeds fails to notice his own problems, until the news really start to influence his own life.

Follow That Bird(en)

Big Bird is sent to live far from Sesame Street by a pesky social worker, who thinks it would be better for him to live with other birds. Unhappy, Big Bird runs away from his foster home, prompting the rest of the Sesame Street gang to go on a cross-country journey to find him.

TMZ's Merry Elfin' Christmas(en)

Over the holidays, TMZ will be dominated by some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Unwrap silly jokes and happy recollections from 2023 with TMZ's third annual retrospective of the year's best stories.

Turk 182!(en)

After New York City firefighter Terry Lynch is unable to receive any compensation for an injury incurred during the off-duty rescue of a young girl, he grows suicidal. Furious, his brother Jimmy attempts to have Mayor Tyler intervene, but the corrupt politician instead denounces Terry as a drunk. Determined to get justice, Jimmy begins a graffiti campaign of embarrassing slogans mocking the mayor, which soon captivates the city.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues(en)

With the 70s behind him, San Diego's top rated newsman, Ron Burgundy, returns to take New York's first 24-hour news channel by storm.

Browsers(en)

Set in contemporary Manhattan, it follows four young people as they start their first jobs at a news website.

Holmes & Watson(en)

Detective Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson join forces to investigate a mysterious murder at Buckingham Palace. It seems like an open-and-shut case as all signs point to Professor James Moriarty, the criminal mastermind and longtime nemesis of the crime-solving duo. When new twists and clues begin to emerge, the world's greatest sleuth and his trusted assistant must now use their legendary wits and ingenious methods to catch the killer as they only have four days before the queen becomes the next victim.

Thema Nr. 1(en)

The No. 1 topic is sex - at least in the group of four women who talk about men, affairs and that one thing in the evening.

Khabardar(mr)

Bharat, a reporter, is given the opportunity to pursue the story of an escaped convict, Anna Chimbori. Maruti bears witness to a murder committed by Anna Chimbori and turns to Bharat for help.

Newsworthy(en)

Frederick Wiles, an ambitious, zealous high-school sophomore, with dreams of becoming the next Woodward or Bernstein, tries to find a story worthy of the seniors-only news show.

Zombies in Buenos Aires(es)

Paula works as a writer in "PN News", but she's warned that she'll be fired if her articles don't increase engagement. This pushes her to write a fake news story about a zombie invasion. The news goes viral, and the media goes into a frenzy. Paula tries to stop it, but it's already too late.

Mark Thomas: Serious Organised Criminal(en)

Comedy that really makes a difference! This is Mark's true story of cake icing as a political weapon, of demonstrations to Defend Surrealism and getting to like the police. Mark turns an 18 month battle over Parliament Square and the right to demonstrate into bizarrely brilliant stand up. This is how Mark fought the law ... with the law's permission! It is a laugh out loud funny world inhabited by anarchists, Goths, artists and the Westminster Constabulary, in which Mark becomes a Guinness World Record holder, organises 2,500 protests in one day and changes the law in the process.

Breaking News(en)

A sensitive email is accidentally sent to an unsuspecting physical therapist.

Sincerity(es)

After lunch, David must confess the news to his parents. What he still doesn't know is the impact it will have in them.

Balloonfest(en)

Mid-Missouri cult hero Nathan Truesdell sifts through a Cleveland TV station's archives and unearths a fancy wrist watch, blistered fingers and other casualties of a misbegotten exercise in civic pride. In September 1986, the city of Cleveland attempted to set a special record: the simultaneous launch of 1.5 million balloons. But fate intervened, and the result was both crazier and more tragic than anyone could have imagined.

Knowing(en)

A teacher opens a time capsule that has been dug up at his son's elementary school; in it are some chilling predictions -- some that have already occurred and others that are about to -- that lead him to believe his family plays a role in the events that are about to unfold.

Pencils Down! The 100 Days of the Writers Guild Strike(en)

In 2007, the Writers Guild of America, the Screenwriters Union, hit an impasse in their contract negotiations with the Studios. At the center of the dispute was jurisdiction over the internet. Unable to make progress, the WGA called a strike which brought Hollywood to a halt for 100 days.

Network(en)

When veteran anchorman Howard Beale is forced to retire his 25-year post because of his age, he announces to viewers that he will kill himself during his farewell broadcast. Network executives rethink their decision when his fanatical tirade results in a spike in ratings.

Unrest(en)

When Harvard PhD student Jennifer Brea is struck down at 28 by a fever that leaves her bedridden, doctors tell her it’s "all in her head." Determined to live, she sets out on a virtual journey to document her story—and four other families' stories—fighting a disease medicine forgot.

Never Look Away(en)

CNN camerawoman Margaret Moth fearlessly captures footage of war zones. After receiving catastrophic injuries in the crosshairs of battle, she returns to work with more courage than ever. An intimate portrait of a trailblazing female photojournalist. Features interviews with Moth’s family and friends, including CNN’s Christiane Amanpour. A Sundance film festival premiere directed by Lucy Lawless.

Pero… ¡en qué país vivimos!(es)

Antonio Torres, a serious singer of Spanish popular music, and Bárbara, a vivacious yé-yé singer, face off in a chaotic contest promoted by Rodolfo Sicilia, an overworked publicist.

Six Reasons Why(en)

In a desolate place called the Badlands, four men stand off with guns drawn, their fingers ready at the trigger. Among them are a fugitive seeking redemption, a son out to avenge his father's murder, a loyal servant with a secret and a murderous criminal hired to kill with a vengeance. This is their story...in a place where revenge, deception and cruelty are a way of life.

Red(pt)

Stop-and-Cop Interactive(fr)

STOP + Cop = "Stop" or "Slow down" ? Make the right choice. An interactice movie by Ken Arsyn.

Sex(en)

A Broadway actress uses her sex appeal to ruin a marriage only to dump her lover for a richer prospect.

Barbie(en)

Barbie comes home from shopping. She takes her groceries out of the bag and unwraps a little Barbie doll. She fries up the Barbie doll and eats it.

C(r)ook(de)

A killer for the Russian Mafia in Vienna wants to retire and write a book about his passion - cooking. The mafia godfather suspects treason.

The Falling World(en)

October 1992. A group of law students head to a remote home upstate where a girl disappeared two years earlier.

Six Hundred and Sixty-Six(en)

A group of people inside an underground complex which possesses high tech computers which tracks world events consider all options as nuclear war is at hand, air supplies may last only eight days and Biblical prophesy unfolds.

Fun(en)

Hillary and Bonnie meet one morning by the side of the road. They become fast friends, share their secrets, and, on a rising wave of frenzy, later that afternoon, murder an old woman. They did it, they say later, for fun.

Tales of the Inner Chamber(ja)

Love-hate drama of three beautiful sisters in Ooku in Edo Castle.

Barbie in A Mermaid Tale 2(en)

Surf's up for Barbie as she returns as Merliah, the fun and fashionable surfing champion who's also a magical mermaid princess! In this exciting sea-quel, Merliah makes a splash when she heads to Australia for the ultimate surfing competition. When the evil mermaid Eris escapes from her whirlpool with plans to take over the throne of Oceana, Merliah and her sea friends dive in to stop her. It's a fresh new adventure where Merliah learns that anything is possible and she really can have the best of both worlds!

Aavas(en)

Aavas is a nepali music video about love

First Day of School(fa)

A documentary about an Iranian boy's first day of school. The beginning of hardships and understanding the realities of life, and perhaps unwanted pain and suffering.

The Honor List(en)

Four girls sink a time capsule in a lake with a list of things they want to do before graduation, but they all go separate ways before graduating. When a tragedy strikes, they reunite to find the capsule and complete the bucket list.

Magic Kid II(en)

Kevin Ryan is Hollywood's leading teen heartthrob. He's the star of "Ninja Boy," a hot Martial Arts TV series. The trouble starts when Kevin decides he wants to leave the hit show, so that he can go to high school and lead a normal teenager's life. However, he is the Studio's biggest money maker and the unscrupulous executives are NOT going to let him leave. Their sinister plans involve a desirable young starlet, a muscle-bound mountain man, and an army of inept thugs trying to kill Kevin's loveable, but mixed-up manager, Uncle Bob.

Pastourelle(en)

"A pastourelle and an aubade are two different forms of courtship songs from the Troubadour tradition. In this case, the film Pastourelle, a sister film to Aubade, is in the more tumultuous key of spring." - Nathaniel Dorsky

2AM: The Smiling Man(en)

While walking home late one night, a man notices another man walking as well. Only this man has an eerie smile. What are his intentions?