Cult director Charles Band brings you this "Last Tango in Paris" spoof with editing by acclaimed filmmaker John Carpenter.
Jeanne
Tom
Mrs. Kitchenberg
Back from a tour of duty, Kelli struggles to find her place in her family and the rust-belt town she no longer recognizes.
Chico, one of the remaining members of The Magnificent Seven, now lives in the town that they (The Seven) helped. One day someone comes and takes most of the men prisoner. His wife seeks out Chris, the leader of The Seven for help. Chris also meets Vin another member of The Seven. They find four other men and they go to help Chico.
A nurse living in a small town goes on a blind date with a man who is not the person he says he is.
After the death of his father, a brilliant college student returns to his family home where he learns that the horrors from his childhood aren't as dead and gone as he once thought.
One year after his heroics in Los Angeles, John McClane is an off-duty cop who is the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. On a snowy Christmas Eve, as he waits for his wife's plane to land at Washington Dulles International Airport, terrorists take over the air traffic control system in a plot to free a South American army general and drug smuggler being flown into the US to face drug charges. It's now up to McClane to take on the terrorists, while coping with an inept airport police chief, an uncooperative anti-terrorist squad, and the life of his wife and everyone else trapped in planes circling overhead.
A stolen computer disk contains the location of a hidden tresaure trove. It's up to the sexy ladies of LETHAL (Legion to Ensure Total Harmony and Law) to find the treasure before the bad guys do.
Crotchety retired doctor Isak Borg travels from Stockholm to Lund, Sweden, with his pregnant and unhappy daughter-in-law, Marianne, in order to receive an honorary degree from his alma mater. Along the way, they encounter a series of hitchhikers, each of whom causes the elderly doctor to muse upon the pleasures and failures of his own life. These include the vivacious young Sara, a dead ringer for the doctor's own first love.
Luc Deveraux, the heroic former Universal Soldier, is about to be thrown into action once again. When SETH, the supercomputer-controlled ultra-warrior, decides to take revenge and destroy its creators, only Luc can stop it. All hell breaks loose as Luc battles SETH and a deadly team of perfect soldiers in a struggle that pits man against machine and good against evil.
Young Haru rescues a cat from being run over, but soon learns it's no ordinary feline; it happens to be the Prince of the Cats.
A man with a grudge against the late Little Joe seeks revenge on the Cartwrights and attempts to take over the Ponderosa.
The Return is a 2016 documentary directed by Emmy Award winning director Erich Joiner chronicling Ford GT's return to 24 Hours of Le Mans after their 1966 1-2-3 victory.
A single man has worked most of his life in a supermarket. One night, he unexpectedly meets with his father, and the two are faced with the question of the reasons for their separation.
Owen, a young man is dissatisfied with his life. He heads into the forest to escape and learns a lot during his time there.
When foreman Frank shows new employee Freddy a secret military experiment in a supply warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky, the two klutzes accidentally release a gas that reanimates corpses into flesh-eating zombies. As the epidemic spreads throughout the town, and the creatures satisfy their hunger in gory and outlandish ways, Frank and Freddy fight to survive with the help of their boss and a mysterious mortician.
Scooby-Doo and his pals win an all-expense paid vacation and embark on a trip of a lifetime to a tropical paradise. Their destination however, turns out to be Zombie Island. As soon as they arrive, they realize the place looks strangely familiar and is reminiscent of a trip they took years ago, in which they became wrapped up in a mystery involving zombies. The gang soon learns that their trip to paradise comes with a price when the zombies re-emerge and attack their hotel. Will Scooby-Doo and the Mystery Inc. gang finally solve the mystery behind Zombie Island?
In an attempt to rescue their friend from an evil corporation, a group of teenagers end up releasing a horde of bloodthirsty zombies.
A multi-part documentary about the making of the Jurassic Park trilogy. Each part walks through the making of part of one of the films, including the hurricane during the shooting of the first film, and how advances in CGI for Jurassic Park helped change the world of special effects forever. All interviews for these retrospective documentaries come with comments from Spielberg, Johnston, Neill, Dern, Goldblum, the effects crews, the child actors, and Peter Stormare. This documentary is broken into six parts: Dawn of a New Era (25 min), Making Prehistory (20 min), The Next Step in Evolution (15 min), Finding the Lost World (28 min), Something Survived (16 min), and The Third Adventure (25 min).
A popular and beautiful politician plans to expose the evil-doings of a multinational corporation. Hoping to silence her, the corporation's top executives decide to hire the most incompetent detective they can find to act as her bodyguard.
A villain attempts to win the love of a pretty fisher girl, who is in love with a village youth. The villain finally kidnaps the girl and carries her out to a rock at low tide, where he ties her. He stands on the shore hoping that the rising water will force her to promise to marry him. The water rises higher and higher, tremendous waves dashing over the girl, and when it seems impossible for her to live another minute her sweetheart arrives with a crowd of the village people and rescues her.
Father wants Mabel to marry a little, wealthy shrimp. She is in love with Charlie, a big, strapping fellow. Mabel is locked up in the house, but her lover sets the house on fire, and In the confusion runs to the minister's house with her. Father and his choice pursue, but Mabel and her lover hide in the chimney. Father sticks around with a big gun, and Mabel and her lover make up as negroes and are married, father being persuaded to act as best man.
Jones is broke. His girl is giving a birthday party, and her various suitors give her costly presents. Jones finds a beautiful lavaliere, which be gives to Mabel, and wins her heart. He is chosen as the foreman of a jury, and when petty offenders are brought to trial turns a deaf ear to all pleas for mercy, gaining the hatred of the other jurors. Finally a man is brought up who is to he tried for stealing the necklace Jones found. A strong case is shown, and all the other jurors want to find him guilty, but Jones holds out for an acquittal. Mabel comes into the court room and sits alongside of the complainant. The necklace is seen and an uproar takes place. Jones is accused as a thief and in a highly melodramatic manner takes a huge vial from his pocket, drinks the contents and falls back dead.
Former London constable Nicholas Angel finds it difficult to adapt to his new assignment in the sleepy British village of Sandford. Not only does he miss the excitement of the big city, but he also has a well-meaning oaf for a partner. However, when a series of grisly accidents rocks Sandford, Angel smells something rotten in the idyllic village.
The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!
Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.
Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.
Two Britons—inventor Hengist Pod, and Horse, a brave and cunning fighter—are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Cleopatra.
After his defeat at the hands of "Spider" Flynn, the welterweight champion of Europe, boxer Jimmie Dolan and his trainer, Thomas Jefferson Jones, leave for a principality near Paris. Having lost all their money on the fight, Jimmie accepts Count Conrad's offer to impersonate Prince Frederick in return for a large sum of money.
Mabel's husband is a hansom cab driver. After a quarrel Mabel imagines herself neglected, and listens to the honeyed words of a tempter, and finally agrees to elope 'with him. A boy is sent for a cab, and the innocent youth calls the husband. The vehicle drives up and the couple run into it, their identity unnoticed by the driver, and they absorbed in each other, not noting the man on the seat. Hubby glances into the mirror reflecting the interior of the cab, and the fun starts. A comical fight takes place between the two men, and the would-be home breaker is soundly thrashed, and penitent Mabel is taken back to her husband's arms.
Hubby is out of work, and wifey is working as a stenographer, posing as a single woman, in an employment agency. The boss is in love with the pretty typist. He tells her he wants a man right away, and she telephones her husband to come down. He gets the job, which is that of porter. While hubby sweeps the floors and cleans the cuspidors, the boss is holding wifey's hand in the private office. Another suitor, who, also, does not know the stenographer is married, tries to see her and is kicked out by the boss. He tells his troubles to the porter, and then rushes off to tell the boss's wife, for revenge. Hubby listens at the door and is caught by the boss, who tips him to stop spying. The boss's wife, a two-hundred-pounder, arrives just as hubby has gotten up his courage to heat up the boss, and a lively scrimmage ensues.
Brown is troubled with an over-abundance of affection, and his wife and mother-in-law convince him of their displeasure in many ways. Brown has a friend who has never met Brown's folks, and becomes acquainted with Mrs. Brown while she is with her mother. He invites them for an automobile ride and manages to start up the automobile as soon as Mrs. Brown has seated herself, leaving her mother behind. That worthy lady, however, runs after the machine and refuses to get lost. The friend has sent word to Brown to meet him at a restaurant, and Brown has a lot of nice champagne iced and awaits his guests. He is thunderstruck when his wife walks in, soon followed by his mother-in-law, who sit down to enjoy his hospitality.
Mabel, her father and Mr. Tra La La, a suitor, much to her disgust, for her hand, take a trip on the coast steamer, "Harvard." Mr. Short, his rival, follows them. He, with the connivance of the ship's captain, gives Mr. Tra La La a most strenuous and ludicrous trip.
Advantage was taken of the fact that a floral parade was being held at Pasadena, Cal. in which the Keystone car was entered and won second prize, to produce a comedy film around the incident. Fred Mace and Mabel Normand are invited to take part in the parade, and Mack Sennett plans to keep her away and take her place Accordingly Mabel is locked up in her dressing room. But she escapes after considerable difficulty. She rushes to the line of march and makes frantic and amusing efforts to catch the Keystone automobile while the two sleuths attempt to dodge her. Mabel gets into difficulties with the police who are endeavoring to maintain order, and is championed by Ford Sterling, who is among the spectators.
Dan is a former geisha, now working as an ace pilot for the Earth Defense Troops. Her fiance was killed by the space monster Bemurasu which consumes nuclear waste. To save Planet Earth, Dan attacks Bemurasu, but whenever she does, she feels ecstasy. Can she save Planet Earth?
When millionaire John Saunders threatens to disinherit his son Wallace if he marries Queen Tina, a circus rider, Wallace elopes with Tina and becomes a trapeze performer.
When Mrs. Harrison arrives in Harborsport for her vacation, she announces her plan to marry Gladsome, her daughter, to Vincent Bradshaw, the son of her financial advisor James Bradshaw. To keep Gladsome from socializing with the local fishermen, James drives them from his property, but they organize under her and force their way back. Arrested for rabble-rousing, Gladsome is bailed out of jail by James and later meets "Alphabet" Carter, a vacationing financial wizard, for whom she has an immediate attraction.