Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski now spends his days compulsively cleaning his house and perfecting his culinary skills with his wife, Jill, a purported assassin who has yet to pull off a clean hit. Suddenly, an uninvited and unwelcome connection to their past unexpectedly shows up on Jimmy and Jill's doorstep; it's Oz, and he's begging them to help him rescue his wife, Cynthia.
After a mobster agrees to cooperate with an FBI investigation in order to stay out of prison, he's relocated by the authorities to a life of suburban anonymity as part of a witness protection program. It's not long before a couple of his new neighbours figure out his true identity and come knocking to see if he'd be up for one more hit—suburban style.
9/11: They knew. They not only let it happen, they MADE it happen!
Two astronauts attempt to plant their flag on a newly discovered planet. But first, they need to get rid of some pesky aliens whose business there is unknown.
A married couple loses their children while on a family trip near some caves in Tijuana. The kids eventually reappear without explanation, but it becomes clear that they are not who they used to be, that something terrifying has changed them.
After escaping from prison, Joe and Terry go on a crime spree, robbing banks through Oregon and California in order to finance their scheme for a new life south of the border. Unfortunately, things get more complicated when they meet Kate, who runs into them with her car. She joins the bandits on their cross-country spree, and eventually she steals something, too: their hearts.
The story of how a mysterious suitcase brings together, and changes, the lives of a divorced dad, an unhappy housewife, two hitmen, a pair of street thugs, two love struck teens, two FBI men and a psychedelic toad. Based on Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry's best-selling first novel, "Big Trouble."
A former stripper's talent with numbers lands her a job with a professional gambler who runs a sports book in Las Vegas.
Taken aback by his mother's wedding announcement, a young man returns home in an effort to stop her from marrying his old high school gym teacher, a man who made high school hell for generations of students.
A woman seeking revenge for her murdered father hires a famous gunman, but he's very different from what she expects.
Eddie Hawkins, called Hudson Hawk has just been released from ten years of prison and is planning to spend the rest of his life honestly. But then the crazy Mayflower couple blackmail him to steal some of the works of Leonardo da Vinci. If he refuses, they threaten to kill his friend Tommy.
It’s Road Trip - Beer Pong! Three college roommates are on the ride of their lives when they drop everything to join a bus full of sexy, scantily clad models to compete in the ultimate sport competition: the National Beer Pong Tournament.
An aging cop is assigned the ordinary task of escorting a fast-talking witness from police custody to a courthouse, but they find themselves running the gauntlet as other forces try to prevent them from getting there.
When Sara is served divorce papers while she is in New York, she is stunned. Not about to lose the fortune she amassed with her self-serving Texan husband, she makes an offer to her process server, Joe, that sets them off on a wild trip across the country.
While dining out with friends, Sy suggests the difficulty of separating comedy from tragedy. To illustrate his point, he tells his guests two parallel stories about Melinda ; both versions have the same basic elements, but one take on her state of affairs leans toward levity, while the other is full of anguish. Each story involves Melinda coping with a recent divorce through substance abuse while beginning a romantic relationship with a close friend's husband.
An LA detective is murdered because she has microfilm with the recipe to make cocaine cookies. Two cops partner to find and stop the fiends before they can dope the nation by distributing their wares via the 'Wilderness Girls' cookie drive.
During a séance with some friends, divorced carny Gualtiero successfully conjures the spirit of Marilyn Monroe, who'll help him win his family back.
A pair of buddies conspire to save their best friend from marrying the wrong woman, a cold-hearted beauty who snatches him from them and breaks up their Neil Diamond cover band.
March 1965. In the heat of the Cold War, the USA and the USSR are competing for supremacy in space. What both superpowers aim for in this race, is to be the first to have a man walk in outer space. To accomplish that, no price is too high and no risk is too great. Now it’s up to the unlikely duo of a seasoned war veteran and a hot-headed test-pilot to fulfill this mission. Two men in a tiny spaceship, without proper testing, facing the complete unknown. They were supposed to do what no man has done before—and no man imagined what would happen next.
When perpetually single, aging music industry exec Harry Sanborn, and his latest trophy girlfriend, Marin, arrive at her mother's beach house in the Hamptons, they find that her mother, playwright Erica Barry, also plans to stay for the weekend. Erica is scandalized by the relationship and Harry's sexist ways. But when Harry has a heart attack while there, and the doctor prescribes bedrest, his only option is to stay at the Barry home. Left in the care of Erica and his doctor, a love triangle starts to take shape.
After a violent encounter, Roy finds Rocky and sees something in her eyes that prompts a fateful decision. He takes her with him as he flees to Galveston, an action as ill-advised as it is inescapable.
A humble shoe shiner is hired by a drug lord as a driver, and he quickly raises up the ranks to become his most trusted hitman. But his biggest desire is a woman that can't be his.
After surviving an attempt on his life by his former partner, officer Cliff Garrett (Norris) exacts revenge on those who wronged him by going undercover as a hit man. He works to gain the reputation and trust needed in order to be accepted by the burgeoning Seattle-area criminal underworld, but it is all done in order to take it down from within.
Mike Locken is one of the principal members of a group of freelance spies. A significant portion of their work is for the CIA, and while on a case for them one of his friends turns on him and shoots him in the elbow and knee. His assignment, to protect someone, goes down in flames. He is nearly crippled, but with braces is able to again become mobile. For revenge as much as anything else, Mike goes after his ex-friend.
Experienced Green Beret sergeant Johnny Gallagher is escorting a prisoner, Airborne Ranger Thomas Boyette, back to the US, but Boyette escapes and Gallagher must risk life and limb to catch him.
Five bizarre stories with no apparent connection to one and other eventually become intertwined, resulting in surreal circumstances.
Beautiful Carmen Colson and her ironworker husband Wayne are placed in the Federal Witness Protection program after witnessing an "incident". Thinking they are at last safe, they are targeted by an experienced hit man and a psychopathic young upstart killer.
When three wealthy women hire a hit man to get rid of one of their cheating husbands, everything goes wrong.
Jack Shaw has experienced the terror first-hand. He's a top CIA agent who's tracked international killer-for-hire Carlos "The Jackal" Sanchez for over twenty years and barely survived Carlos' devastating bombing of a Parisian cafe. Now, he finally gets a break when he discovers Carlos' dead ringer: American naval officer and dedicated family man Annibal Ramirez.
When a Las Vegas performer-turned-snitch named Buddy Israel decides to turn state's evidence and testify against the mob, it seems that a whole lot of people would like to make sure he's no longer breathing.
Mikey and Rose are professional assassins. They are also lovers, and once upon a time Rose also knew Mikey's father. During an elaborate hit job for a malicious gangster, Rose fails to kill the main target, the gangster's pregnant girlfriend. Instead, she delivers her baby and convinces Mikey to help her protect them both. As Rose weakens from cancer, Mikey becomes breadwinner for this unusual family. But tranquility will not last.
To remedy his financial problems, a travel agent has his eye on a frozen corpse, which just happens to be sought after by two hitmen.
A road trip to Los Angeles inadvertently leads a young man from Wyoming into a wild maze of psychotic hit-men, racy women, jewel thieves and a salsa band.
Raised as a slave, Danny is used to fighting for his survival. In fact, his "master," Bart, thinks of him as a pet and goes as far as leashing him with a collar so they can make money in fight clubs, where Danny is the main contender. When Bart's crew is in a car accident, Danny escapes and meets a blind, kindhearted piano tuner who takes him in and uses music to free the fighter's long-buried heart.
Comic mayhem ensues when two lovely blondes, Dee and Dawn, are mistaken as international mob killers.
Robot Johnny 5 moves to the city to help his friend Ben Jahrvi with his toy manufacturing enterprise, only to be manipulated by criminals who want to use him for their own nefarious purposes.
Tommy loses his job as a make-up artist at Bayerischer Rundfunk after fogging an announcer with hairspray and then insulting her; Mike is dumped by his girlfriend because, on the one hand, he only cares about his music and, on the other hand, he is financially stranded. So they both need money and decide to become detectives. On behalf of a rich industrialist, they are to shadow his wife and take photos of her cheating. So Mike and Tommy travel to Bad Spänzer, where the lady is staying. But she is as faithful as gold, so Mike, disguised as a Prussian, makes advances to her so that Tommy can take the required photos. But Tommy soon has to slip into a costume, too: Since Tommy looks deceptively similar to an Arab sheik, he is hired by the sheik's secret service to double him. What Tommy doesn't know: assassins want to kill the sheikh at all costs.
Oregon, 1851. Hermann Kermit Warm, a chemist and aspiring gold prospector, keeps a profitable secret that the Commodore wants to know, so he sends the Sisters brothers, two notorious assassins, to capture him on his way to California.
An overnight flight to Miami quickly becomes a battle for survival when Lisa realizes her seatmate plans to use her as part of a chilling assassination plot against the Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security. If she refuses to cooperate, her own father will be killed. As the miles tick by, she's in a race against time to find a way to warn the potential victims before it's too late.
A hitman accidentally kills a little girl. Filled with regret, he wants to quit. But then to tie up loose ends, he is forced to go on another job, to kill the girl's mother.